Of Maiming or Because I said So!

I got up today.

Ready to take on the world.
By mid afternoon my head was spinning in multitudinous directions. I started grumbling and bitching in my own head. To get over it I started day dreaming about the next season of Grey’s Anatomy and would Izzie Steven really really die or will they bring her back from the dead? and ………
and wham
I could swear it was someone inside me.
The only thing he said was “Seriously????”
I was stunned for a moment. Jumped out of my chair and started pacing and realised that something inside of me was screaming!
Zahra! Good God! Has it come to this? Are you stupid? You ridiculous old senseless ….. umm (and other inappropriate words to myself).
We are conditioned to be parasites from birth.
We are spoon-fed at school. I remember getting lower grades at school because I didnt copy the answer exact same to same from the text book. I used to pour over my answers and question my teachers but I was just told to ‘print’ my answers.
I was not allowed to question.
When I found some idea contradictory, I was not allowed to contradict.
When I found something new that the teacher didnt know, I was rebuked.
When something did not get through my skull, I was called stupid and told to memorize.
(“Who has heard of “other” teaching methods?”)
I was told to respect the teachers I didnt respect.
I was told to do things that I was not taught to do and expected to do them like a craftsman.
I was told….
I was ordered…
I was told….
I was ordered…
I was ordered…
……………..and I was told not to “THINK”.
My elders had already done the thinking for me.
Its ingrained to:
Not tell the truth cause it will hurt others.
Not share ideas that are different, it may cause outrage and ostracism.

I was told to understand and compromise that which I thought was false.

and as I thought about me and my generation being maimed, I realised its been like a vicious circle. This story has probably been going on for generations. Those who realised it, got liberated. Those who didnt, are right now watching Star Plus ke saas bahu dramey and crying over them or busy ‘poondying at girls the age of their kids’ or sitting frustrated at some frustrating place doing frustrating work and wishing to just get some sleep without the power going out.
By the time I have finished writing and editing this, they will be calling up their friends and chittering chattering about “oh do you know!”es or sipping tea and watching the latest atrocities on the news or watching cricket (depends if there is a live match going on and lots of gambling to be done or not) or yelling at things and people who are inconsequential or…or …or …or…
Incidentally I read this and I don’t care how long it takes, just shut up and read it!
I have “ORDERED it!.”
and do it because “I HAVE SAID SO.!!”
and do it because “I AM TELLING YOU TO!!!.”
and because “I KNOW BETTER!!!!.” and you DON’T!!!!
so dont you dare……..WARNA!!!
and for the season finale quote…..
They advertise not to waste electricity. How about advertising about the one that’s in everyone’s brain?

3 thoughts on “Of Maiming or Because I said So!

  1. hey Zahra!! its Fizzah 🙂 m glad u're blogging and writing…was going thru ur facebk account as i havnt heard from u in a long while, n i came across this link… u're good, girl 🙂 we're always on the same wavelength on such issues.. it feels good to see in writing EXACTLY what one is thinking! keep blogging… hmm… im thinking i might get into the game too…


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